Yearning With Joseph

Matthew 1:18 -25 (NRSV): Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: "Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel," which means, "God is with us." When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.

Joseph is a righteous man - righteous to a fault. But he's mired in an unrighteous mess. He's gotten a double dose of negative news from his wife to be. First, the bad news: she's pregnant. Second, the worse news: the child's not his. What is a righteous man like Joseph supposed to do? With such an impossible situation, how can a law-abiding man like Joseph save face?

Oh, it all started out innocently enough. No doubt Joseph could still remember how he and his fiancée, Mary, had been betrothed. They had followed the law to the letter. There was no hint of impropriety, no trace of a hurried engagement, and certainly no evidence of unchastity. Joseph knew that he and Mary must have appeared to be squeaky clean. They were right by the law. And make no mistake: the law was clear. In those days couples had to run two gauntlets before getting married. Mary and Joseph had cleared the first hurdle: public vows before witnesses. They had done their "I do's" before God and everybody. Now, Joseph knew, only the second hurdle remained. As soon as Joseph moved Mary into his house, the marriage would be consummated.

Of course, Joseph had no reason to believe that the wedding schedule should go other than according to plan. In the interim his family and friends doubtless shared his confidence about the future of his union with Mary. His betrothal was on the up and up. The groom and his bride had kept their noses clean. Now his family and friends could do what families and friends do when a wedding day is imminent. You know: buy them pieces for their favorite china pattern, compare prices on the traditional nuptial toasters, or maybe even chip in for a honeymoon expense fund. To all outward appearances, Joseph's prenuptial relationship was on the right track. The blood tests were done, the marriage license approved. Nothing stood in the way of a legal consummation of his marriage to Mary.

But something went wrong for poor Joseph. Despite all his attempts to follow the law to the letter, his wedding plans had gone awry. You see, Joseph in all his righteousness had not foreseen his fiancée's surprise pregnancy. And soon...she would be showing. On the one hand, being a righteous man, he could not endure his fiancée's apparent infidelity. From Joseph's point of view, he had no choice. The law and his personal sense of honor demanded that he break off the engagement. Such a thing just was not done in his day. After all, Joseph was a righteous man. On the other hand, Joseph knew the terrible cost of publicly divorcing his wife-to-be on the charge of infidelity. For such an offense the law demanded blood. Yet if Joseph felt anger for this premarital betrayal, might he not also still have felt some love for the woman who would have been his wife? Not even a righteous man like Joseph can turn his feelings on and off like a light switch. Joseph knew, whatever he did, he needed to do it quietly.

So what does Joseph choose? A quiet divorce. You know, a little no-fault job. Maybe go to some state where the paperwork won't leave a paper trail. Hire some lawyer who doesn't ask too many questions. Whatever it takes, Joseph wants the legalities covered quickly and quietly. No doubt Joseph feels that's the only way open to him. As a righteous man, he can do nothing less than break it off with Mary. Yet as a man who once loved and maybe still loves Mary, he must do so discreetly to preserve her life.

Nonetheless, even a righteous man, even the most righteous man must eventually tire. When all hell seems to be breaking loose, even the most upright person must at some point lay down to rest. What else could righteous Joseph do? Even the most righteous person in the world must at some point let down his guard in the hope of a decent night's rest.

The problem is, it may not have been easy for Joseph. Sleep doesn't always come easy for the righteous. Anyone plagued by their conscience could attest to that. And the righteous, above all, wrestle incessantly with whether they have truly done the right thing.

Perhaps that's even happened to you! Have you ever been sleepless at night, too, tossing and turning over a decision you've made about some unseemly matter? It may just be whether you calculated your taxes correctly. Or perhaps you lay awake wondering whether you've disciplined your child enough or too much. Or maybe you regret a word you said in what seemed at the time righteous anger. Whatever it is, if we've any scruples at all, we've all lost some sleep over whether we truly did the right thing.

Now Joseph could have had other things on his mind, too. Do you suppose part of him realized that divorcing Mary quietly, while saving her life, would relegate her to perpetual poverty? Do you suppose part of him feared that the scandal of her pregnancy would eventually come out and diminish him in the eyes of his friends and family anyway? Whatever it was, the tossing and turning, the doubting and wondering must have eventually gotten Joseph to the point where all he could do is let down his guard just enough...to sleep.

Of course, sometimes the only opportunity God has to speak to the righteous is when they do finally let down their guard. It seems the righteous often have trouble hearing God, being so sure they know what God demands already. So it is in Joseph's sleep where God's voice finally gets through. Only in his dreams could Joseph listen to such odd words of a divine visitor: an angel of the Lord.

Before we get on Joseph's case, we must admit that we've been there, too. In a Christmas rush of savage proportions we also hustle through our lives, oblivious to all, aware only of our tight personal schedules. In hectic times like this, everything falls by the wayside so we can get our shopping, our card sending, and our partying done. As for our loved ones, well, they must just endure - at least until the point where the stress finally takes its toll. Then we are left at the end of the day, lifeless. Only after we are no longer able to move another muscle can we finally listen - for the first time all day. Then in our weakness, in the gathering darkness of nightfall, we can finally hear others again: the earnest longings of our children saying bedtime prayers, or the solicitous care of spouses as they ask how our day went. Oh, all this we could have heard earlier if we hadn't been in such a rush to do what we ought. But at the end of the day, we are finally weak enough, tired enough, sleepy enough...to listen.

So righteous Joseph, righteous tired Joseph is finally exhausted enough to listen to God. In that deathlike state called sleep, Joseph can do no more righteous things, but can finally hear the word of the Lord. So the angel lays it on ol' righteous Joseph. "Mary is pregnant by the Holy Spirit. So don't be afraid to marry Mary. Don't be afraid, Joseph!"

Ahhh! There's the rub! Joseph was observing the law, all right. Yet the angel saw his conduct clearly. Joseph was following the law out of fear. Fear of what other people would think. Fear of what might happen. Fear that a scandal could never be used of God for anything good.

But that's precisely where Joseph was mistaken - and now he knew it. Why in Joseph's own family tree there had been character after character who got caught in scandal, yet beyond that scandal God still worked the good. There was Joseph's namesake, who said to his brothers who had sold him into slavery in Egypt: "You meant it for evil, but God for good!" Then there were those checkered people from his own bloodline: Rahab, the prostitute; Ruth, that "brazen" Moabite; and King David himself, a royal scoundrel if there ever was one. By now Joseph could not deny it. God had been saving around and in spite of scandal all along. Now it was time for Joseph to put his righteousness to work in God's merciful salvation plan.

How? Well, Joseph in the dreaminess of sleep listens long enough to get the picture. God in God's wisdom will save through this scandalous child. And Joseph's righteousness cannot and should not stand in the way of God's mercy. So Joseph marries Mary. Now this Jesus, who will be as his son, will also stand in the line of David. You see, now Joseph is finally obedient - not to the letter of the Torah law, but to the most bedrock law of all, the law of divine mercy.

No wonder, then, that we usually see pictures of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus in stained glass! You know, those stained-glass portraits of the holy family's nativity. Some people will tell you that stained-glass pictures are reserved for the perfection of saints - that the light coming through gives definition to their saintly halos. Well don't you believe them! Next time you see a stained-glass picture of Joseph and Mary, you need to notice one crucial fact. Stained-glass pictures are not beautiful because they are perfect, but because they are broken into shards and painstakingly reassembled. Just like Mary and Joseph, they are pieces of broken glass graciously joined together...for the glory of God.

The Rev. Esther Hargis
December 20, 1998

© 1998, Esther Hargis

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